Thursday, March 11, 2010

Blogger Faux Pas

When a person decides to start a blog after having just been a lurker of a few blogs, they really don't know the etiquette.   So if, like a fool, they dive into the blogging world head first: writing posts, becoming a follower and commenting, they are bound to make a faux pas or two.

What's worse than a faux pas though, is when a blogger is oblivious to their missteps.  When they discover their inappropriate behavior they are embarrassed; they are ashamed. 

What is a blogger to do in this situation?  Should they ignore their horrible mistake?  Should they shut down their blog and delete their reader account?

Maybe what a newbie blogger should do is write a blog post about it?

So here's what I did/do aka my faux pas.

I'm a commenter.  I like people to know that someone is reading what they wrote.  I also appreciate posts that are interesting or funny and want to share my appreciation.  I worry that I annoy, but I really like reading what people comment on my blog.  I'm also a follower.  I love my google reader and my new nifty next button (thanks whoever gave me that tip).  I have gotten so many good ideas and so much inspiration and comfort from knowing that other people struggle at times just like I do.  I even reconnected with an old friend.

So the fact is that my worry of annoyance, should have clued me in.  I received an email this week from someone whose blog I really enjoyed.  She wrote cute stories about her daughter, posted pictures of her daughter's adorable room and some awesome maternity photos of herself and wrote about her frustration with winter and even did a funny and interesting meme. 

So what did I do?

I commented.  A couple of days later, when there was a new post, I commented again.  And then a few days later, new post-new comment.

And then the dreaded email, with the simple question, "how did you find my blog?"  Because her name was not anywhere on her blog I wasn't sure which blog was her, so I replied to her email asking what it was and asking if I had left an offending comment and if so I apologized.  Her response was simply her blog's url; nothing more, nothing less.

So I checked out my comments, trying to figure out why she had asked and why her question was so abrupt.  It wasn't "thanks for visiting - how'd you find my blog?"  It was "how'd you find my blog?" 

And that's when I discovered my faux pas.  The cute story about what her daughter said - I was the only commenter.  The great pictures of her daughter's adorable room - I was the only commenter.  Two other posts - yep, just me again.

"I'M A STALKER,"  I thought.  I sent her an email explaining that I wasn't a stalker, that I just really liked her blog and enjoyed her posts and apologized. 

Her response.....nothing.  No email back.

So what do I do?  Stop commenting?  Delete my reader account?  Go back to fake knitting at night while the hubs has remote control...



Leslie said...

If I take the time to actually read someone's post, I like to leave a comment too - I think it's just coutesy to leave a little note that you read it and enjoyed it! Being a new blogger, I think I could easily be a "stalker"! Soo funny! glad you shared your story!!! And thanks for leaving a comment on my blog, too! It's very encouraging :) :)

The Tompkins Family said...

Grrr...I don't know where my comment went so here's try #2!

I think commenting is lets you know that someone is actually reading what you're putting out there. Also, if someone puts a blog as PUBLIC and OPEN for comments...well, I just don't get what they expect. You can set your options so that people have to know the URL and not receive comments. Anyways, don't change what you're doing. You're great!

Shauna said...

I personally love your comments and don't think that you are a stalker. Of course we want to know that someone is out there reading our posts. It sounds like that particular blogger was just rude. You keep on doing what you're doing! Boo on the fake knitting! ;)

La said...

just keep reading her blog if you like the posts. if you think she thinks your comments have annoyed her, may be you should just read without commenting.

but I like people who leave nice comments on my blog. thanks for visiting :)

Mom24 said...

Umm, very odd. Isn't part of why we do this is to get readers and commenters? Feel free to follow me and comment anytime.

Sorry, but can't see that you've done anything wrong here. Maybe her social skills just aren't the best, but she's really happy that you're there.

Michelle Leigh said...

If you ask me, I would say her behavior is odd. If she doesn't want anyone commenting, then she should make it private. Blogging is a very public thing and you are bound to get a comment here and there. I guess if you are uncomfortable with her, just unsubscribe, or keep reading if you don't really care. I don't see any faux pas here!

Jenny said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jenny said...

The way she acted is odd and did absolutely nothing wrong.

I started blogging regularly in October of 2007 and I was really nervous about leaving comments for other bloggers. I would almost always start out with 'I found your blog through {insert blog name here' so they wouldn't wonder who I was or where I came from. But then I realized that random strangers were stopping by my blog all the time...sometimes they commented and sometimes they didn't. That's just the nature of blogging.

You have such a great blog and you are a wonderful commenter...please don't let that lady bother you one bit.

Krystyn said...

That was sort of odd and rude of her. If she doesn't want people reading her blog, she needs to make it private.

There are a lot of other blogs out there of people that love and appreciate comments and people reading them...I'd say find a new one:)

Jen K. said...

You did NOTHING wrong. Don't sweat it. I agree with the post above. If you make a public blog on the internet, you can't be surprised if strangers find it and comment.

And really, I'm not trying to defend her, but her emailing sounds a lot like mine. I'm a very to the point emailer and a lot of times I don't respond back. But, in my first email I wouldn't have put just her questions, I would have been "Heyyyyyyy, how you doin? How'd you find my blog?"

Google reader makes me feel like a stalker sometimes too. Sometimes I see people's blog posts like a minute after they post them and I wonder if they think I'm hanging at their blog, waiting for them to post!

Robyn said...

Weird,if she was worried about someone "finding" her blog, she should have made it private. I have often wondered how people find my blog sometimes, but usually after I see the same circle of bloggers commenting on each others posts it is easy to figure out. I have never asked how did you find me. It were me, since she didn't respond to your apology, I would not read her blog anymore. It is a blog eat blog world out there:)

Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings said...

Um...why is she blogging then if she doesn't want to be read? That's very odd. If she doesn't want to be read then she can switch it to private. Yeah, so this is the first time you've comment on my blog, but are you stalking me? Don't lie. *wink*


I may just start stalking you after this post...very "funny" and interesting.

uncomplicateme said...

I don't think you did anything wrong! Her blog is obviously public and searchable and if she didn't want it to be found, she should have made it private. People can be so rude, I'm sorry this happened to you. Comments are like hugs, don't ever feel bad for leaving one! :)

Fishsticks and Fireflies said...

I have to 2nd (3rd? 4th?) everything that previous commenters have said. I suspect that maybe she started her blog to keep far away family and friends informed of what her daughter is doing and didn't really think that a stranger would find her content interesting. Her better bet would surely be to go private.

And I also have to agree with Uncomplicate Me - comments are like hugs, and a means for starting conversation, and you should never apologize or feel bad for leaving one!

I really enjoy reading your blog and am happy that you decided to start one and look forward to reading more!

Emily said...

I agree with the comment above mine. I wouldn't sweat's definitely her loss!
I love getting comments and try to comment as well too.
And while it's fine if she's not in it for the social aspect, it's kind of rude to just not respond and not be polite in an email!

MJW said...

What's the point of having a public blog if you don't want people to look at it? I agree with everyone else on here! :)

Stepping On Cheerios said...

If she didn't want readers or commenters then she should password protect her blog.

You can comment on my posts all you like! I get sad when there aren't any new comments to read! So, come be my stalker instead, I promise to stalk back!

Stepping On Cheerios said...

PS: I wish I knew who she was so I could go leave a comment, Just Kidding!

The Boob Nazi said...

Pssh, people need to calm down. IF YOU HAVE A PUBLIC BLOG, PEOPLE CAN READ IT. HELLO.

Messy Mommy said...

I have a blog that I use to post updates for family and friends. It contains our names including our last name, location, etc. This is a blog I DON'T want traffic to. Sure, anyone can read it, but I don't promote it. It's not available in searches, etc. So honestly I would probably wonder as well if a stranger was commenting, but I wouldn't have been rude about it! I would probably delete it from your reader since it apparently makes her uncomfortable.

Chrystal said...

I agree you did nothing wrong. I am bad about commenting I read a ton of blogs and never comment. Then you started commenting on mine and now I comment more. I love comments and strangers read my blog daily. She should make hers private if its an issue. I am sorry shes a jerk.

debi9kids said...

Wow. I have never heard of this happening. i think most people love comments.
Maybe she is just super new to the blogging world as well?
I know that when i first started blogging years ago I had NO clue that anyone other than family or friends would ever read my posts and I was shocked when i got my first "stranger" comment.
Now, I'm shocked when a family member leaves a comment. LOL

I'd say she doesn't seem like she wants readers, so maybe just find someone else to read ? There are tons of awesome blogs out there (check out my GIANT blogroll)

ps I always leave comments if I take the time to read someone's blog too :)

Liz @ Sugarplum Creations said...

Hmmmm, I love comments, so I'm not sure where she is coming from. I wouldn't worry about it! :)

Mama Zen said...

Um, that's just weird. And, incredibly rude.

Jenna said...

How strange and rude, but its happened to me too, I think if they have a small family style blog they don't expect anyone else other than immediate family reads it or could even find it. Don't worry you did nothing wrong.

btw I found you through blog frog! lol!

Marie said...

I can't see how you did anything wrong. I agree with other commentators that if you want your blog to be private than make it so. If not, you shouldn't get freaked out when people read your blog. I love comments too. I write my blog mostly for me. But it's so nice when someone else relates to something I'm going through or admires my photo or just says hello. I am making more of an effort to leave comments myself b/c I know how much I enjoy them. Don't let someone else's problem dictate your behavior. You keep right on spreading the sunshine. :)